Remembering Futures

A home. A family. And babies.

Three things I'd rather keep my head in the sand about. Not for any other reason but that it hurts too much to want them as I do.

Tonight I went to a friend's home for dinner. Warm, delicious homemade stew. After dinner we began stitching up some scraps of felted sweaters. Making stuffed animals.

I liked doing it.

I really had fun.

When I got in the car to head home, I realized that I had made the second item for a dowry. It is not a traditional dowry to be used to bribe or lure a spouse. Its one for the baby I dream of. The one whose smile I can imagine when I see my friend's child smiling. The one whose laughter I can feel in my heart and hear in my most sacred of dreams.